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HISTORY
Written by Metatron
Hey there, pleasure seekers and history buffs! Today, we’re taking a wild ride through the tantalizing annals of history to uncover the secrets and scandals behind everyone’s favourite bedside companions – sex toys! Buckle up, it’s going to be a bumpy ride!
1. #AncientOrgasms:
Our journey begins in the times of yore when our ancestors got creative with materials lying around. Forget iPhones, they had stone dildos – the original hands-free device!
2. #MedievalMischief:
Ever wondered what knights and damsels did behind those castle walls? Spoiler alert: chastity belts were less for protection and more for medieval teasing!
3. #VictorianVibrations:
The Victorian era was known for prudishness, but oh boy, did they love a good steam-powered vibrator! The only thing hotter than steam engines was Queen Victoria’s secret stash.
4. #RoaringTwenties:
Flappers weren’t just about dancing; they were the real pioneers of the “Charleston Charge,” a dance move that doubled as a clever cover for smuggling in their beloved flapper vibrators.
5. #WWIISecrets:
In the midst of war, soldiers found solace in the strangest places – cue the “Private’s Pleasure Parachute,” a covert sex toy airdropped for lonely nights in the trenches.
6. #SpaceAgeSeduction:
As we entered the space age, astronauts needed more than Tang to keep them occupied. Rumour has it, Neil Armstrong had a discreet stash of moon rock-shaped toys!
7. #HippieHavens:
Free love and psychedelic vibes brought about the era of the “Groovy Groove,” a flower-powered pleasure device that promised to align your chakras and awaken your inner flower child.
8. #80sElectricDreams:
As Madonna vogue-ed her way into our hearts, the 80s gave us neon-coloured wonders that made Rubik’s Cubes seem downright prudish.
9. #90sNostalgia:
The era of Beanie Babies and slap bracelets also birthed the “Tickle Me Elmo” craze – not just for kids, but for adults looking for a ticklish sensation in more ways than one.
10. #TechieTeasers:
Enter the digital age, where Bluetooth connectivity and smartphone apps transformed sex toys into high-tech marvels. Because nothing says modern romance like syncing your pleasure device with your Spotify playlist.
11. #MillennialMayhem:
Millennials demanded inclusivity, and the sex toy industry answered with a rainbow-colored array of options. Finally, something to match their avocado toast!
12. #GenZGadgets:
Gen Z is all about sustainability, so naturally, eco-friendly and biodegradable sex toys became all the rage. Mother Earth approves, one orgasm at a time.
13. #FutureFreaks:
As we hurtle into the future, AI-powered sex toys are on the rise. Siri, Alexa, and Google Assistant just got a whole lot more personal – “Hey Siri, set the mood!”
So there you have it, a playful romp through the ages of sex toys! Remember, behind every buzzing innovation is a trailblazer with a thirst for pleasure. Stay cheeky, stay curious, and keep history stimulating!
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Posted in History, Hobbies & Interests
EDIT“BUZZING THROUGH THE AGES: A VIBRATING CHRONICLE OF SEX TOY HISTORY”
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